Wouldn’t it be great to be in a romantic relationship with, or married to, your best friend?
You know, that person you just love being around. The one that gets your dumb jokes, has the same interests as you, they GET you, and you get them. Someone you can carry on a conversation with for hours or just sit quietly by them in comfortable silence.
My guess is that your partner is your best friend and that’s why you’re together. Over time however we kind of forget how important they are too us. Here are some ways to bring back and rekindle that spark of “friendship”.
1. Make time to play! We all work. Whether it’s work away from, or in, the home. You need to make time to play. Join a softball league, a bookclub, join the gym, take dance lessons…you get the idea. Find an activity that the two of you love to do and go do it together.
2. Learn who they are. The good the bad, the strong parts, the weak parts…and love them. We need to be there for each other. We need to be there to celebrate victories, and support each other in defeat. We need to compensate for each other’s strengths and weaknesses. No one person is 100% of the team, it’s together that you’re stronger and together that you’re better than 100%!
3. Give approval, appreciation and love. Make your partner feel good about who they are! Give sincere appreciation, there are so many great things about your partner. Start focusing on those wonderful things and not on the few annoying things. Give compliments, let them know that you’re grateful for them, thank them for what they do. The list is endless on how you can build each other up day by day.
4. Get involved with something THEY love. Guess what? We don’t all like the same things. My daughter loves to talk and draw, my son loves to go shooting. I do both of those things with them. One I love…one I don’t. BUT I have learned to be interested in what they both do because it brings me closer to them, and over time I have learned so much about both of them. My guess is, that over time you’re going to either begin to love what they do, or you’re going to love the time spent together…either way YOU win! (and so do they:)
5. Hold them accountable. You both came into your relationship with certain goals and promises. Are you both working towards those things? If not, hold yourself and your partner accountable. Hold weekly “Relationship Meetings”, discuss where you are and where you want to be. Talk about your dreams, your goals and your future plans as a couple. Write it down, encourage each other.
6. Forgive. Have you ever been in an argument with your partner? OK, dumb question. Have you ever been in an argument over dumb things that really didn’t make a difference? …another dumb question, MOST arguments are over dumb things that don’t really matter. We’ve all made mistakes, we have all been wrong before. When we have messed up somehow, wouldn’t it have been wonderful for our partner to say “Boy, you messed up but I really love you and it’s OK”. Be loving and be forgiving.
7. Put the other person first. We give so much time and consideration to our friends, our boss, our co-workers and at times even complete strangers. Remember who is most important in your life. Put the other person first in your life. Give them the thought and consideration you give to others, and give them the love they deserve as your best friend and lover.
Will this short list solve every little issue and make life sunshine and happiness…no.
Will it help to bring you closer together and make you stronger and more loving as a couple…absolutely.
When you are strong as a couple it will take much more to weaken you than if you are weak to begin with.
Try these things, you’ll find that over time they will all come naturally to you and that your partner will give back what you give them. So go build StrongerLove for the two of you!