Romance or Routine...pass the salt, did you take out the trash...ohbythewayiloveyou...see you later.
Updated: Mar 14
Remembering your LOVE for each other
What was it like when you first noticed your partner?
Was it “across a crowded room”, in a Chemistry lab in college, at work, or a chance encounter in the produce isle?
There was a point when you first noticed your partner and thought to yourself “I sure would like to get to know them better”.
My guess is, that first realization was pretty memorable.
Did you then say:
“Hi, my name is ___________ and I would love to get to know you. Please keep in mind however that once I get used to you, I won’t be near as attentive, there will be days when you’ll wonder why you’re with me and even days when you wonder if I even love you. In fact, I may give you the “SILENT TREATMENT” or withhold sex from you…want to go out on a date?”
My guess is that this is NOT what you said, and I would further speculate those thoughts never entered your mind.
I imagine you said to yourself “Wow! He/She is handsome/beautiful; I love their smile, their eyes, and the way they laugh. I like the enthusiasm they have and the way they talk. They are so well put together and look like they are good at what they do. I wonder if they’re even available…I wonder if they would go out with me?
Are they out of my league?”
Well, they DID go out with you! You got ‘em! YOU WON!!
You won…you got the DATE…do you act like you won?
Do you show your partner that you love and cherish them?
Do you show them that you want them in your life and you’re so happy they are with you and that you wouldn’t want anyone else?
Have one or the other of you taken each other for granted?
Are you in the rut of familiarity?
Was today was like yesterday, and the day before, and it’ll probably be the same tomorrow.
You know THAT rut. GROSS!
Do you want to return to the time when you couldn’t wait to see your partner again?
You couldn’t wait to be with them, to hold them, to enjoy their company, to share, to love and to learn about each other.
Would you like that?
Would you like that and more? (BTW YES!! is the correct answer:)
1. Remember the time when you first noticed your partner. What was that like? What made you notice them? What made that person stand out from the crowd and make you want them? Close your eyes and relive that moment, FEEL again what that was like.
2. Remember the first great date you had. Why was it special? What did you two talk about, what did they wear, what funny thing happened…etc.
3. Remember the moment you first fell in love. What was it that made you fall in love with them? What was the moment that you KNEW you were in love with them? Not like, not lust but really IN LOVE with them, like you couldn’t live without them!
4. Bring into those memories all the senses you can. What were you seeing (her smile, his eyes, the crowd)? What smells were there (perfume, cologne)? How were you feeling (happy, nervous)? What music, conversation etc did you hear? Take some time and truly re-live that moment.
Make a strong solid memory of these things. Remember what it is about your partner that you love so much and what they have that no one else does. What makes them so special to YOU? Remember the loving times, the times of laughter, joy and real togetherness. Lock those memories in, feel them, close your eyes, sit still for a moment and really let those great memories sink in.
Now think of what you life would be like without your partner in it. Think of the laughter lost, the empty home, not hearing their voice, not feeling their touch. Not being with them.
Quick! Go back to happy memories!! You still have them, you haven’t lost them! They love you, and you love them, it’s not too late!!
Now, next time, and each and every time you see them, let them know that you love them, that you’re IN love with them and that you will love and cherish them always.
How can you do this?
· Hug them a little longer next time.
· Whisper in their ear “I love you and will never let you go”
· Look them in the eyes and tell them how much you love being with them.
· Let them know that there is no one you would rather be with.
· Cook them a special meal.
· Help them in the yard.
· Give a little extra. Give of yourself.
· Put a note in their pocket.
· Text them your love while they are away.
· Focus on them.
Don’t take your partner for granted.
You wanted them and they wanted you.
Don’t let time tarnish your love and your excitement for each other.
Let time deepen and grow your love for each other.
*An amazing date to reconnect would be to take the four steps above and dive deep into them, REALLY re-live those moments, make them real and alive inside you, like they are happening RIGHT NOW…now take your partner on a date and share with them how those memories make you feel and let them know that you still are deeply in love with them and want to make your love Stronger and deeper/more meaningful from this day forward.